As the social wouldn't buy them a bigger bed and they weren't
strong enough to nick one.

The husband went to his doctor and told him that he and his wife
didn't want to have any more children. The doctor told him there 
was a procedure called a  Vasectomy that would fix the problem 
but it was expensive.

A less costly alternative was to go home, get a firework, light
it, put it in a beer can, then hold the can up to his ear and count to10.

The Scouser said to the doctor, "I may not be the smartest guy in
the world, but I don't see how putting a firework
in a beer can next to my ear is going to help me."

Trust me, it will do the job", said the doctor. So the man went
home, lit a banger and put it in a beer can. He held the can up to his ear and
began to count: "1, 2, 3, 4, 5," at which point he paused, placed
the beer can between his legs so he could continue
counting on his other hand.

This procedure also works in Middlesbrough, parts of Sunderlandand
and anywhere in Wales.